As you probably know, some individuals shy away from conflict. Many others, though, love the friction that comes from fighting. In fact, according to Psychology Today, certain individuals have high-conflict personalities, which can include both an inability to manage emotions and a desire for retribution.
If your soon-to-be ex-spouse has a high-conflict personality or any of its associated traits, you can expect your divorce also to be a high-conflict one. To avoid losing yourself along the way, you should know how to get through an abnormally contentious divorce.
Keep your own counsel
While it may be tempting to vent your frustrations to friends, close relatives or even social media followers, talking too much about your divorce might make matters worse. Indeed, doing so may give your spouse the drama he or she craves. If you cannot keep your own counsel, you should consider talking to a counselor or therapist about your emotions.
Take some time
In a high-conflict divorce, you must be cautious when corresponding with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Remember, it is rarely advisable to respond to text messages, voicemails or letters when you are angry. By taking some time before responding, you can choose your words carefully and revise your response before sending it. You even might want to let your attorney handle all communications with your spouse.
Be careful with your children
You love your children deeply and likely spend more time with them than anyone else. It does not benefit you to gripe about your spouse to your kids, though. In fact, if you badmouth your husband or wife, you might open yourself up to allegations of parental alienation during a future custody dispute.
Ultimately, if you focus on your emotional well-being and that of your children, you all can emerge from your high-conflict divorce in a mentally healthy place.